so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
