Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
