you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
