Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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