Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize