Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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