nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
