I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
