we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You may now shotgun with the bride
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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