So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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