I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I have post one night stand depression
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
