these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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