Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
