Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
