Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
