your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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