So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
