he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude i'm inner monologue high
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
