Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I love having hate sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
