if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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