I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
