in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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