If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
