why didn't you poke me back
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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