dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
