Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
