Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
