I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
