Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
