I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
