"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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