the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
