I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
