And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
