I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
