Sponge bath it is.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize