STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
