I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize