she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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