Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
