Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
