Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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