My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
