Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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