He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
