david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
