Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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