Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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