and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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