my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
