i just google imaged poop.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
