I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
