What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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