you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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