The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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