He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
