the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
